Textimation

HIM: how much do you hate me 1-10 right now
E: 8
HIM: hm
ok
well, i didn't do anything wrong so
alright
E: Wait maybe I mean 2
HIM: also now that im sitting still i feel the beers...

K:  OHHHH....soo much to break down…I feel like I need an MTV news special. Is he facebook chatting with you from his car?!!?! I feel like you only do that when you are crushin' Right? like what is the immediate urgency to have this FACEBOOK conversation. Also..what happened to texting/sexting ...I miss the good ole' days

K: Can we also throw him a pity party complete with streamers of tears and balloons of anguish? "you will ...eventually" hate him? Well if he is going to be whiny like that ...I will hate him for you!

E: I think he was already home. I was FB chatting from my phone though, which was nervewracking! What if I lose service and he thinks that I really h8 him? Also why did he suddenly have to "go"? Was his mom yelling at him to turn off the computer and go to bed? Him opening the conversation with "How much do you hate me" implies that he felt guilty for not hanging out with me (whether or not I was actually upset), so why does he feel an obligation to hang with me? And WHY, oh WHY, did he say that I will hate him "eventually"? I want to zap him with my lightning trident.

 K: Did you send him a grimacing stare that pierced through his heart like a buffy the vampire slayer when you left his car?

E:  No, I said "Nice meeting you!" to his roommate who was in the back of the car and then sexily sashay-limped out of the car with my almost empty six-pack.

 K: Oh..someone else was in the car? Why does he think you would have expected him to hang out (at not your home) when someone else was in the car? I mean...unless he's into that (not judgment..more jealousy...get it).

E:  also, he had told me like 5 times he was exhausted and going to bed, so. I don't even... I mean, HE DENIED that he is "weird" when I called him out on it, so I must be crazy, right?

 K: he's got low self-esteem baby...(also you "baby" 'd him)...I’m sure he doesn’t want you to think anything bad about him. Forty was like, “He has a hipster combover to hide the fact that it’s a real comb over" ....BURN.....

E: hahaha that is kind of mean. Mean but true.