A friend lent me the book Why Men Marry Bitches, and while I think most of it is manipulative tripe that encourages women to minimize their feelings and play games, some of its premises are always worth reiterating. For example, the following principles have been hard for me to swallow during the past few months.
“What are the signs that a woman is wasting her time?
1. When you get the nagging feeling you are always left hanging. If he’s closing doors, saying things like ‘gotta go’ or ‘talk to you later,’ that means, ‘I’ll call you when it’s your turn.’ And don’t listen to the ‘I missed you so much’ nonsense he tells you when he’s coming around for sex. He won’t disappear for a week at a time with a woman he’s committed to.
2. If he sees you one hour a week, it’s casual. If you aren’t going to the movies, meeting his friends, eating dinner together, and he says, ‘I’m really not much of a phone guy’ when he doesn’t call—it is clear. With a woman he cares about, there will be consistent contact. A man will rarely break dates with a woman he’s in love with.
3. What a lot of guys do is say he’s too busy working. Work never gets in the way of who he really wants to be with in his personal life. If a man really wants to see a woman, free time will magically appear.
4. If a man is truly busy, he’ll be specific about when he’ll call you back. ‘I’m tied up right now, but I will call you back X.” Then he specifies a date and time. But if he says, ‘I’ll get back to you,’ and doesn’t say when, that is a sign of disrespect. If he was out of town, same rule applies. If he can’t reach you he’ll pinpoint a day he’ll be inaccessible—not a whole week.
How can a woman tell if a man’s really in love and thinking about forever?
1. His interest will be consistent. If he’s thinking long-term, there won’t be severed contact. He won’t give his time sporadically and he won’t contact you every now and then. On the other hand, when everything else in the world comes before you and you start hearing ‘My second cousin’s brother’s father-in-law’s sister needs me to watch the kids, so I can’t see you all weekend, it’s not about love. When he truly cares, you won’t get the on-again, off-again intermittent contact. You’ll have continuous access and you’ll know all aspects of his life.”
