Textimation

 

The text:

Him: So thank you, it's been a long time since I've seen someone that desperate to get out of my house.
E: You're right, I'm mentally unstable and shouldn't have come at all.
Him: I would agree with that. At any rate, having had a great view of your back for 20 minutes, your back looks nice.

K: eeeekkk, 1) confrontational much!?! you are only supposed to analyze this with friends not to the person who ditched you
2) why is he staring at your back? did he follow you home in his car without the headlights on?

E: Did you get that right there? Apparently my date on Saturday went a lot worse than I thought it did. He was staring at my back because he didn't have any proper furniture and I had to sit facing that way! No wonder I couldn't wait to get out of there! But, good thing I have an attractive back, for a mentally unstable person at least.

K: What, were you watching a movie in the penis ...not balls seating position? I dont understand??? Also why were you late...were you creepy driveby stalking?

E: I was late because I went to dinner with Dan! The nightvision binoculars didn't come out until after the terrible date. Back to the text. I'm pretty sure he's just being a dick.

K: also...what he really said was " you can treat me like shit...yet i'd still do ya" god...the ones we treat like shit ..want us ..and the ones we are nice to..don't ...men are fucked up

E:  I don't think he'd still do me. He definitely thinks I'm cray-cray. The whole thing was a complex scheme to make me feel like shit for not making out with him.

 K: maybe he's taking you down a few pegs to make you feel like dirt so you feel like you have no other options but to bang him...maybe because we are fucked up? SOMEONE IN THIS SCENARIO IS FUCKED UP!