Textanalysis

 

(while standing 3 feet away from each other)

Him: Sup shawty

K: Maybe he wanted you to knock boots (get it because you weren't wearing yours) in his van. Hey kid...I've got a dog and candy just inside the van

E: Maybe he was channeling his inner white rapper and didn't know how else to initiate flirting since I looked so hot.

K:  maybe he didn't know how to handle your radiance and couldn't look dead on like a solar eclipse....so he used his cell phone text like a pinhole projection method.

E: I'm pretty sure he was just letting me know he was interested. That's why he didn't want to hang out afterwards at all...

K:  Maybe next he'll pull your hair and chase you around the playground...i mean there was 4 square at the fest..it was like hipster version of my 3rd grade. Ahhh..brendan gilpatrick...how i loved thee...

E: come on, 3rd graders don't have iphones! I think he wanted me to come hang out with him instead of talking to the girl I was talking to. Maybe? Right?

K: was the girl you were talking to me ? Does that Douche not like me! Mother Effin' Doucher!

E: Nooo, I was talking to that Shannon girl! But it seems like that doucher doesn't like anyone, so.